


subtle the sun

by s_coups



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blindness, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:13:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4487952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_coups/pseuds/s_coups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the most common name for the words that are inscripted on the inside of every human being's left wrist is "Soul Words".</p>
            </blockquote>





	subtle the sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [finegold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/finegold/gifts).



> [inspired by this post](http://efirny.tumblr.com/post/120118260006/sincereglomp-aceofultron-soulmate-au-where) read it or the fic won't make sense. for gabby.

  The most common name for the words that are inscripted on the inside of every human being's left wrist is "Soul Words". Most people call them that, although Baekhyun's heard around the world there are several different phrases used for them. They're small phrases or even single words that mean everything to the owner. They're considered very private, and most people usually cover theirs up, only allowing close friends and family to know what they read.

Baekhyun's reads " _Because I know you're beautiful._ " He's never met anyone else with the same phrase, but he's heard stories of people meeting other's with the same Soul Words. The most common ones are " _I love you_ ", " _I miss you_ ", and " _goodbye_ ". His mother's reads " _I love you_ ", and his father's read's something much less meaningful- " _Did you feed the dog?_ ". Baekhyun thought that one was funny when he was younger, but as he grew older, the actual weight of one's Soul Words pressed down on his heart, and he stopped laughing.

 

There were scary ones too. A girl in Baekhyun's 10th grade Math class had had " _I don't want to die_ " on her wrist. He'd accidentally seen it after school, when the gauze wrapped around it had slipped off. His best friend Chanyeol's read " _Look out_ ". Baekhyun couldn't imagine how it felt to have something as ominous as that. Everytime Chanyeol tripped, or ran into something, or crossed the street without looking, and someone would shout, "Look out!", Chanyeol would freeze up, whipping around to locate whoever had said those words.  
  
The thing about them is that you don't know if you're going to die or they are. They're the last words you hear them say, but it's never certain that it's your soul mate that's the one passing or you. When your soulmate dies, the words smudge, and over a few months will disappear completely. His mother had told him stories of people who's soulmate had passed, and their words had smudged, but the other partner's didn't. Baekhyun think's that would be the worst thing; for the person you love to pass and it turns out they're not even meant for you.

 

~

 

 One spring afternoon (one of those days where the sun is shining but it's still too chilly to not wear a sweater), Baekhyun is walking home with Chanyeol, sipping on a black coffee and discussing the finer points of Victoria's Secret Models, when they get to a crosswalk and Chanyeol gets that nervous look he always gets, eyes darting to survey the people standing across the street. Baekhyun links arms with him, offering him some of his coffee, and trying not to pretend he doesn't get nervous for his friend as well whenever this happens. When the light turns red, Baekhyun leads Chanyeol hurridly across the street, taking quick strides, only for a stranger to walk right into him.  
  
They both tumble to the floor, Baekhyun's coffee spilling all over the other boy. Baekhyun curses, and out of the corner of his eye, spots Chanyeol already at the other side of the street, wringing his hands worridly, glancing back and forth from Baekhyun to the traffic light.  
  
"Watch where you're going, asshole," Baekhyun grumbles, hauling himself to his feet and brushing off his jeans. When he finally gets a good look at the other, he's still on the ground, hands roaming the pavement, reaching for a long red tipped cane that had fallen beside him. 

"Oh, my god," Baekhyun gasps when it hits him he's blind. His heart sinks, and he feels like a piece of shit as he reaches down, grabbing the boy by the elbows and helping him to stand up straight. He grabs the cane, handing it to the boy, and the boy smiles in thanks. He's not wearing sunglasses, his big eyes a brown color glazed in a filmy white. "I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't realize-"  
  
"It's fine," The boy assures him. He gently touches his white sweater, the front almost completely stained from Baekhyun's coffee. "Did something spill?"  
  
"My coffee," Baekhyun says guilitly. "I'm really sorry, my friend doesn't like crossing the street, I can pay you for it-"  
  
"Not nessacary," The boy waves him off, cane clacking against the ground as he starts a slow walk away. "It's really okay."  
  
"At least let me help you home? I feel really bad."  
  
The boy sighs deeply as Baekhyun puts a hand on his elbow to guide him to the sidewalk. "Fine, but I should probably buy you a new coffee as well."

Baekhyun laughs. "I need to stop drinking that crap anyway. It keeps me up at night." He turns around after a second thought, and motions for Chanyeol across the street to go on without him. Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows at him, and Baekhyun flips him off before turning back to the boy.  
  
"I'm Baekhyun, by the way."  
  
"Kyungsoo."  


  

~

 

  Kyungsoo turns out to not live that far away from Baekhyun, only a few blocks down and he was only a little younger then Baekhyun. And something about the boy makes elders heart beat faster. Maybe it's the way he talks, clear and direct, or the way he laughs, or the way he wraps his fingers around Baekhyun's forearm for balance as they go up the stairs. Either way, Baekhyun's feels like a schoolboy with a crush on the new kid.  
  
As he's unlocking his front door, Baekhyun notices that the younger's wrist isn't covered. Baekhyun swallows, reading the words " _Everything should be fine._ " before he can stop himself.  
  
"Um," Baekhyun tugs at his collar. "Sorry... this is kind of personal but.. I can see your Soul Words."  
  
"Really?" Kyungsoo holds up his left wrist in front of him, as though he could actually see it. "What does it say?"  
  
Baekhyun is taken aback. "You don't know what it says?"  
  
"My mother refused to tell me because she said it was just cause me more suffering. She says since I'm already blind, I don't need any more."  
  
Baekhyun frowns to himself, furrowing his brow. "That's actually smart," He mumbles, half to himself. "You don't have to panic like the rest of us."  


There's a few moments of silence, until Kyungsoo says, "What does yours say?"  
  
"I don't wanna tell you," Baekhyun laughs. "What if we're soulmates?"  
  
Kyungsoo's eyes seem to focus on him, face serious, and Baekhyun feels nervous all of a sudden. "Sorry, I was joking."  
  
Kyungsoo laughs, a soft sound that makes Baekhyun's stomach flip. "It's fine. It was cute. You're cute."  
  
Baekhyun blushes, and he's glad the younger boy can't see his face. "Will you be okay by yourself if I leave?"  
  
"I have a nurse who comes in the early morning and late evening. I'll be fine."  
  
"Do you..." Baekhyun swallows hard. "Do you... want my number? I mean, if you ever need me for anything." He scoffs to himself suddenly, smacking himself in the forehead. "Wait, you wouldn't even be able to see my number. Sorry, I'm stupid."  
  
Baekhyun smiles big at him. "Not stupid. If you write it down my nurse can script it in braille for me tomorrow morning. In case I need you for anything," He teases, and the elder blushes even more.  
  
"Okay. Well." Baekhyun awkwardly stands there after scribbling his number on a post-it and handing it to the younger. "Bye, I guess."  
  
"Bye, Baekhyun. Thanks for walking me home," Kyungsoo flashes him a brilliant smile, brown, glazed eyes twinkling, before closing the door .

 

~

 

A few days later and Baekhyun gets a phonecall from an unkown number at eleven am, waking him up from hibernation after a night of drinking with Chanyeol. The man in question is snoring beside him, mouth hanging open and limbs thrown over Baekhyun's back, too drunk to make it back to his own apartment just a block away last night. Baekhyun's mouth tastes like he ate roadkill, and he groans into his pillow as he reaches for the phone, sliding the answer bar after a few tries.  
  
"Hello?" He grunts, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and already thinking of ways to get out of this phonecall and go back to sleep burrowed between his pillows and Baekhyun's radiating body heat.  
  
"Is this Baekhyun?" A familar voice says, but Baekhyun's brain is fuzzy and he's still half asleep, so he can't quite place it.  
  
"Yeah... who this?" He slurs. Chanyeol lets out a paticularly loud snore, arm twitching on Baekhyun's upper back. 

"It's um... Kyungsoo. Do you remember me?"  
  
Kyungsoo. The name runs through Baekhyun's head a few times as he tries to put a face to the name. Then it hits him, and he sits up so fast he knocks Chanyeol right off the bed, the younger rolling onto the floor and shouting out a string of curse words.  
  
"Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun gasps, at the same time Chanyeol yells, "You motherfucking supreme dickhead, that  _hurt_!"

"Did I wake you up?" Kyungsoo sounds hesitant, probably wondering why someone was snarling cursewords at Baekhyun loudly in the background. "Are you with someone?"  
  
"No, no, I'm up," Baekhyun says quickly, holding one arm above his head to sheild him from the pillows Chanyeol was now beating him violently with. "My friend was drunk and couldn't make it home last night, he's mad I woke him up."  
  
Kyungsoo laughs, that soft noise that makes Baekhyun get butterflies. "Tell him I'm sorry. I was wondering if you'd... like... come food shopping with me?" He coughs awkwardly. "My nurse usually comes with me but she's sick today."  
  
"Yes," Baekhyun replies a little too quickly. Chanyeol has up and moved to the kitchen, grumbling loudly, and Baekhyun can hear him banging pots and pans around noisily. "What time?"  
  
"Maybe like... half an hour? Do you remember where I live?"  
  
Baekhyun nods eunthustiastically, then remembering he's on the phone, says, "yeah, I'll see you then."  
  
When Kyungsoo hangs up, Baekhyun goes into the living room, flopping down on the couch and sighing heavily.  


"Who was that?" Chanyeol asks, not looking up from his cooking.  
  
"Kyungsoo."  
  
"Who's Kyungsoo?"  
  
"The love of my life. Fire of my loins. My sin, my soul."  
  
Chanyeol lets out a snort, and Baekhyun hears the sizzling of eggs in a pan. "It's too early for your English major Shakespeare bullshit."  
  
Baekhyun sighs again, pressing the warm backside of his phone to his cheek. "That's not Shakespeare, that's Nabokov. Shakespeare is things like, 'for thou art as glorious to this night, being over my head, as a winged-'"

He's cut off as Chanyeol throws the metal spatula in his direction, shouting at him to shut the fuck up.

  

~

 

  "When my father died, my mom's words never disappeared," Kyungsoo tells Baekhyun as he pulls down a box of cereal for the younger. "She hasn't been the same since."

They're at the supermarket, Kyungsoo pushing a shopping cart around a babbling on to Baekhyun as the elder guides the front of his cart and tries to keep track of the items on the shopping list Kyungsoo's nurse had left.

Baekhyun stops, taking in his words. "Wow, that must be terrible."

"I know," Kyungsoo sighs. "Imagine finding out the man you've loved, and had children with, isn't who you're supposed to be with? She was devastated."

"My brother had the opposite," Baekhyun says, crossing lettuce off the list as he hands it to the younger to put in the cart. "When he was away for college, there was some girl who got stabbed near his dorm. His words were 'please help me', and she said that to him and then passed out. He took her to the hospital and she died that night. When he woke up the next morning his words were smudged."  
  
Kyungsoo stops walking, turning to look in Baekhyun's direction, blank eyes wet. "That's horrible," He mumbles.  
  
Baekhyun nods, not bothering to say anything when he remembers Kyungsoo can't even see him.  
  
They spend the next fifteen minutes in silence, only exchanging a few words as Baekhyun checked off each item on the list. Kyungsoo looked like he was in deep thought, and only when they were in line at the cashier's did Baekhyun clear his throat and the younger looks up, seemingly surprised as he remembers the other was with him.

"Um," Baekhyun twists his fingers together nervously. He internally kicks himself- what was he, 12? Why was he so nervous?. "My friends are coming over tonight for like a... movie night. I don't know if you like movies but-"  
  
"I'd love to come," Kyungsoo cuts him off, grinning. "I like movies."  
  
Baekhyun smiles back at him, heart pounding, until the cashier clears her throat awkwardly, and Baekhyun whips around, face tomato red.

  

~

 

  When Baekhyun hears the knock on his front door later that night, he's got his hands full with pizza boxes and a fistfull of Yixing's hair as he tries to keep the younger a few feet away from the food until he puts it on the table and gets some paper plates. Because of this, Chanyeol is the one to fling open the door, already drunk and working on getting absolutely wasted, to welcome Kyungsoo.  
  
"You must be Kyungsoo!" Chanyeol booms, bringing the younger in for a bear hug. Kyungsoo looks panicked, probably because he can't even see who it is thats forcefully pressing him to their chest. "I've heard a lot about you, man. Baek won't shut up about-"  
  
"NOPE," Baekhyun shouts before his best friend can continue. He hands Yixing the pizzas (a bad decision, because the younger's already tearing into the box before he puts it down like he hasn't eaten in days), hurrying over to shove Chanyeol away from poor Kyungsoo.  
  
"I'm really sorry, that's Chanyeol and he's-" Baekhyun sighs. "-he's a handful."  
  
"It's fine," Kyungsoo smiles. "He sounds nice."  
  
Baekhyun doesn't have a chance to respond because there's suddenly groaning from the table, and he turns to see Yixing stuffing two slices of pizza into his mouth at once, moaning as loudly as possible with a mouthful of cheese.  
  
"Aaaand that's Yixing," Baekhyun curses his friends internally. "I'm sorry, they're already drunk. They like to do this thing where they drink as much alchohol their livers can take and then pass out in my bed."  
  
Kyungsoo laughs, and then he's reaching his hand out towards the elder and it takes Baekhyun a second to realize he's searching for his hand. Baekhyun takes it in his, blushing profusely, and leads him over to the couch, where Sehun is sitting, sifting through a pile of DVD's.  
  
"Kyungsoo, this is Sehun," Baekhyun says, sitting him down beside the youngest. Sehun looks up, smiling at Kyungsoo, and then almost immediately spots his clouded eyes. He reaches out, very gently wrapping his fingers around Kyungsoo's wrist and tugging it towards him. In return, Kyungsoo turns to look directly at him, as if he could really see him.  
  
"Hi, Kyungsoo," Sehun replies in a qiuet voice. "Nice to meet you."  
  
"Did you have a blind friend?" Kyungsoo laughs. He rolls his wrist in Sehun's hand. "That's a trick people usually do when they know how to deal with blind people."  
  
Sehun scoffs. "You're just blind. It's not really dealing with you, just socializing," He laughs. "And yeah, my cousin's blind."  
  
"I didn't know your cousin was blind," Baekhyun cuts in, feeling some sort of weird squirming in the pit of his stomach seeing Baekhyun smile so brilliantly at his youngest friend.  
  
Sehun takes one look at Baekhyun's face and pulls his hand away from Kyungsoo's. He flashes a smile at the elder, mouthing a 'Sorry, hyung', and Baekhyun feels himself flush bright red.  
  
"Let's fucking watch Fight Club!" Chanyeol suddenly shouts, bodily slamming himself into the coffee table and falling face first on the floor. He manages not to spill any of his beer in the process.  
  
"Fuck Fight Club, let's watch that one movie," Yixing chimes in, stumbling over with another slice of pizza in his hand and plopping himself down beside Chanyeol. "With the chicks. And that girl from Twilight. And they all sing shit. And one of them is Austrailian. What's it called?"  
  
"Pitch Perfect?" Kyungsoo says, and Yixing whips around to look at him, looking delighted.  
  
"Yes! That one! I wanna watch it."  
  
Chanyeol sits up, eyes half closed, and points at Yixing with the neck of his beer bottle.  
  
"We can watch that if you answer this question," Chanyeol slurs. He burps loudly, and then asks, "If a bear and a shark had a fight... who would win?"  
  
Yixing goes silent, mouth hanging open, looking completely dumbfounded.  
  
"Is this really happening," Sehun mutters under his breath.  
  
"It's a trick question, Yixing," Baekhyun says. Chanyeol shouts back, "You're a trick question!"  
  
Kyungsoo laughs loudly. "I like your friends, Baekhyun."  
  
"I'm sure they'd like you too, if their blood alchohol content level wasn't far beyond the legal limit," Baekhyun replies as they watch Yixing seemingly just now remember the slice of pizza in his hand, and proceed to shove it all in his mouth at once.  
  
"We're watching Tazza," Sehun delcares suddenly, standing up and moving to put the disc in the DVD player.  
  
Chanyeol and Yixing groan in unison, and the youngest just ignores them as he presses play and dims the lights. Kyungsoo moves over on the couch, patting the space beside him for Baekhyun to sit. The elder blushes as he squeezes himself between the armrest and the younger boy, and when Sehun sits back down Kyungsoo is pressed even closer to Baekhyun, and he feels like his body's on fire.  
  
Not even twenty minutes into the film, Chanyeol and Yixing are passed out on each other on the floor, Chanyeol snoring loudly over the movie's dialogue. Baekhyun is drifting in and out of conciousness, head lolling over to his right and just barely resting on Kyungsoo's shoulder.  
  
"Do you think celebrities cover their Soul Words with makeup all the time?" Sehun suddenly asks aloud, and Kyungsoo is the only person awake enough to respond.  
  
"Probably. It must be hard for them because their Words always get out no matter what," Kyungsoo says.  
  
Baekhyun contemplates letting them know he's awake, but for some reason, wants to listen to their conversation without being noticed. He stays silent.

"You know that singer," Sehun continues. "That vocalist in that band SHINee... Jonghyun I think?"  
  
Kyungsoo hums in response.  
  
"His Words were 'good performance', or something along those lines, and their manager died in a car crash like a year and a half ago. A few days later fans noticed his Words smudging and he went on haitus for like three months and when he came back his Words were gone."  
  
Kyungsoo lets out a sad noise that makes Baekhyun heart lurch. "That's horrible."  
  
"I know. I don't think he's been the same since."  
  
There's a few minutes of tense silence, other then the movie dialogue, and then Kyungsoo says, "At least he knew his soulmate. He got to spend time with them."  
  
"I guess," Baekhyun can pratically hear Sehun shrug, shift on the couch uncomfortably. "I mean, it's weird. How are you supposed to like anyone? There's this girl in my History class that I like, but I don't think she's the one."  
  
"You can't let your Soul Words hold you back from loving someone," Kyungsoo replies in a serious voice. His hand suddenly reaches up, fingers threading through Baekhyun's hair, and the elder feels a lump form in his throat. "That's no way to live."

If he wasn't trying to be discreet and pretending to be asleep, Baekhyun would start reciting Shakespeare again.  _Be still my heart,_ He thinks dramatically as Kyungsoo strokes his hair gently. 

 

~

 

Over the next month, Kyungsoo integrates himself easily into Baekhyun's friend group. His other friends love him (probably even more then they like Baekhyun), and have no problem with him joining them wherever they go. Although Baekhyun does get a little jealous whenever Kyungsoo smiles extra big at Sehun or Chanyeol pulls him in for a hug.  
  
One day (on a Tuesday), they're coming back from picking Chanyeol up from school (Yixing jokes about being Sehun's mother, and Chanyeol puts the youngest in a headlock while he whines for them to stop being so embarassing). They reach a cross walk, and the little white man is on the traffic signal on the other side of the street. Sehun and Yixing run ahead, running away from Chanyeol who's chasing after them. Baekhyun is helping Kyungsoo across, hand on his elbow, when suddenly cars start honking.  
  
It all happens in seconds. Baekhyun looks up and sees a car racing towards them, running a red light. He pushes Kyungsoo back to the sidewalk. Sehun and Yixing are on the other side, but Chanyeol's still in the middle of the street, frozen in horror. Someone shouts, "Look out!" and in a blur they're shoving Chanyeol out of the way, and the car is smashing into the strangers body, running right over them and speeding away.  
  
People start running over, gathering around the body. It's a boy, probably around Sehun's age. His limbs look broken, and his head is bleeding out, his face scraped up and cut. A girl shoves through the crowd, screaming, falling to her knees beside him.  
  
Chanyeol is still sitting on the ground a few feet away, shaking violently and staring at the boy. Baekhyun and Yixing both run over, just as Chanyeol raises his wrist and flips it over. His Words are smudged, letters just barely legible.  
  
"Jongin!" The girl by the boy's body is screaming, voice breaking. She's crying, shaking him by the shoulders. People are trying to pull her away, and Baekhyun can hear ambulance sirens in the distance, growing closer. The girl refuses to budge, yelling through her tears, "Jongin, get up!"  
  
"Jongin," Chanyeol whispers to himself. His eyes are wet and glassy, bottom lip trembling.  
  
"Come on, man, get up," Yixing says softly. He hooks his hands under Chanyeol's arms and hauls him to his feet. "We gotta go."  
  
Baekhyun looks around for Kyungsoo, and spots him with Sehun across the street, hand in hand, looking at the source of the screaming worriedly.  
  
"Chanyeol," Baekhyun murmurs. "Let's get out of here."  
  
Chanyeol turns to look at him, and his eyes are welling over with tears. "Jongin," Chanyeol repeats to him. Baekhyun can feel his own heart break, and he just takes Chanyeol's hand and pulls him away from the crowd.

 

~

 

  Baekhyun brings Kyungsoo back to his apartment after they all split up, Yixing half carrying a shell-shocked Chanyeol home. The younger boy was still crying, silent save for hiccups every few minutes, and even Sehun couldn't take it, almost breaking down on the subway when Chanyeol turned to Baekhyun for the seventh time and whispered, "Jongin."  
  
It's not too late, the sun still out, but dark storm clouds were brewing in the sky, and Baekhyun thinks it fits the mood of the day perfectly. Kyungsoo's apartment is dark and qiuet, and they both sit on his couch in silence. They haven't really said anything since the incident.  
  
"I can't believe this happened," Kyungsoo suddenly says. He leans over, resting his head on Baekhyun's shoulder and reaches for the elders hand. Baekhyun intertwines their fingers, covering them both with his other hand leans his own head on top of Kyungsoo's.  
  
"Death can happen so quick," Baekhyun murmurs. "Life is so short."  
  
Kyungsoo doesn't respond, and then suddenly he's shifting, moving so he's getting into Baekhyun's lap, straddling him. Baekhyun leans back, stunned, as Kyungsoo cups his cheeks between his hands. It takes a few moments for him to even find the younger's face, hands slowly tracing up his shoulders and neck until they rest on his cheeks.  
  
"I don't wanna waste my life," Kyungsoo whispers. His lips are inches from Baekhyun's, and the elder can smell the mint of his breath, can pratically taste it. He knows Kyungsoo can't see him blushing but he can definitely feel the heat rising underneath his fingers. "I want to live life to the fullest, Soul Words or not."  
  
"Me too," Baekhyun agrees, but it comes out slightly garbled because Kyungsoo is slowly pressing his lips to the youngers, plush and soft and everything Baekhyun's dreamed about for months, and he can't help but wrap arms around him, pull Kyungsoo closer and kiss him with all his might.

  

~

 

 Just a few days later, Baekhyun is at home, watching crappy documentaries on Netflix, Chanyeol curled up beside him. The younger is fast asleep, face pillow between the crook of Baekhyun's neck. He'd been sleeping a lot the past few days, and when he wasn't he was walking around like a zombie, eyes unfocused and mind blank. Baekhyun didn't have the heart to wake up him for anything other then to remind him to eat and shower.  
  
Baekhyun's cell phone vibrates beside him, and he picks it up, still focused on a man explaining the recreational pros of marijuana use to him.  
  
"Hello?" He says half heartedly, and he almost jumps when someone sobs on the other end.  
  
"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo says voice cracking through tears, and the elder's heart immediately races.  
  
"What's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" Baekhyun tries not to move so as not to wake Chanyeol, but he's scared now and if he has to jump out of bed to rush to Kyungsoo's aid, Chanyeol be damned.  
  
"Nothing's wrong," Kyungsoo sniffles. "My nurse... My nurse knows this guy and he- he's doing it for really cheap for her and-" Kyungsoo's voice cuts off as he breaks into another round of sobs.  
  
"What? What's really cheap?"  
  
"Surgery," Kyungsoo hiccups. "Eye surgery. I'm gonna be able to see, Baekhyun."  
  
Baekhyun's heart stops for a second. He zones out, Kyungsoo's crying and the documentary muted as his mind races. See? Kyungsoo would be able to see? See Baekhyun and see the sky and the moon and the stars and Sehun's ugly new haircut and which type of cereal he likes and everything else that Kyungsoo had always jokingly complained he wished he could see, even if Baekhyun knew it broke the younger's heart that he couldn't.  
  
"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun whispers. "That's wonderful. That's fucking amazing."  
  
"I have the surgery next Saturday," Kyungsoo sniffles again, and in the background Baekhyun hears the younger's nurse offer him a tissue. Kyungsoo thanks her and blows his nose loudly. "Please come. I want you to be there when I wake up."  
  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Baekhyun swears. Beside him, Chanyeol stirs, and when he looks down the younger is looking up at him with half lidded eyes. Baekhyun smiles down at him, ruffling his hair, and Chanyeol grins back lazily. On the other end of the phone, Kyungsoo is hiccuping through his tears, and between his news and his best friend nuzzling into his ribs, Baekhyun feels like his heart is going to burst.  


 

~

 

 The day of the surgery comes, and Kyungsoo is trembling with nerves in his hospital bed, squeezing Baekhyun's hand so tightly he can feel his circulation cutting off. When it comes time for him to go in, Baekhyun kisses him hard, assuring him everything will go fine, and Kyungsoo's eyes are wet as Baekhyun leaves the room.  
  
Baekhyun spends hours in the waiting room, stomach in knots. He drinks three cups of coffee and walks in circles until one of the nurses asks him politely in a strained voice to sit down and relax. By the time a nurse comes out to get him, he's shaking like Kyungsoo had been, mind racing with all the possibilites of what could've gone wrong. The nurse assures him it went well and leads him to Kyungsoo's room.  
  
The younger is laying awake in the hospital bed. He's got an IV in his arm and patches taped over his eyes. He immediately straightens when he hears footsteps, reaching out, and Baekhyun hurries over to take his hand, sitting beside him.  
  
"How do you feel?" Baekhyun whispers. He reaches out and pushes Kyungsoo's hair back, feeling his forehead.  
  
"Weird," Kyungsoo says, but Baekhyun can hear the excitement in his voice. "I just want these patches off so I can see what everything looks like."  
  
Baekhyun hums in response, running his thumb over Kyungsoo's inner wrist.  
  
A few minutes later the doctor comes in. He's handsome, young and tall, and he smiles at Baekhyun, consulting the clipboard on the end of Kyungsoo's bed.  
  
"The surgery was very successful," He says, pulling a pen out of his pocket and jotting something down. "We just need to run a few tests and then we can take your patches off. You should be out of here in a three days tops."  
  
"Thank you so much, Doctor," Kyungsoo replies, voice trembling.  
  
The doctor smiles at him, eyes soft. "It's no problem. You needn't worry at all. Everything should be fine."  
  
Baekhyun freezes. The doctor adjusts Kyungsoo's IV, puts something that'll help Kyungsoo sleep into it, and Baekhyun just stares at him as he leaves. His ears are ringing, and he looks down at Kyungsoo's wrist, at his thumb pressed against the younger's Soul Words. He tries to swallow, but there's a lump in his throat and his eyes sting with tears. He feels like he's gonna throw up.  
  
Kyungsoo is shifting into a more comfortable position, body relaxing from the IV, when he hear's Baekhyun muted sobs.  
  
"Are you crying?" Kyungsoo asks, voice worried, and he reaches out for the younger. His hand finds Baekhyun's cheek, and Baekhyun just hiccups, wiping away his tears to no avail as more fall.  
  
"I'm fine," He says, trying to regulate his voice so it doesn't crack. "I'm just happy for you. Get some rest."  
  
Kyungsoo drops his hand and nods in reply, settling down to sleep. There's silence for a few moments, and Baekhyun's ears are still ringing when Kyungsoo mumbles sleepily, "I can't wait to see you."  
  
"Why?" Baekhyun asks, and in that second something tightens terribly in his chest, and he knows nows the moment.  
  
"Because I know you're beautiful..." Kyungsoo whispers, voice trailing off as he falls asleep.  
  
Baekhyun can't help the despairing sob he lets out, glad the medicine knocked the younger out cold, because he can't hold it in any longer. He can't see through his tears, not trying to stay quiet as he sobs. He rests his head on Kyungsoo's stomach, gripping his bedsheets. He can't breathe properly, and he refuses to look at his own wrist, scared of what he might find.  


  
  
  He must've cried himself to sleep, because he's woken a few hours later (judging by the darkness of the sky) by Kyungsoo's heart moniter going crazy. Doctors and nurses are running in, and he jumps to his feet as the start fussing over him. They're wheeling his bed out, shouting at each other, and Baekhyun grabs the closest one, panic bubbling in his chest.  
  
"What's happening?!" He demands, and the nurse just gently pulls his hands off her scrubs, starts pushing him out of the room and down the hall.  
  
"You need to leave," She says firmly, and he tries to push her away but she's strangely strong and he's still weak and panicking and he can't do anything as she dumps him in the lobby and runs back after the doctors.  
  
He's hyperventliating on the bench, trying to calm his thoughts, when he unconciously glances down at his wrist and spots his Words, smudged. They're barely legible now, just like Chanyeol's when they saw that boy Jongin get hit by the car, and Baekhyun can't even cry. He can't feel anything. Everything around him has stopped, muted and all he can hear is his pounding heartbeat and that same ringing in his ears from earlier.  
  
He's only broken out of it when that same doctor, Kyungsoo's doctor, is suddenly crouching in front of him what feels like hours later, face worried. He reaches out for Baekhyun's hand, and Baekhyun can't do anything but stare at him.  
  
"I'm sorry," The doctor whispers. "Kyungsoo's passed."  
  
Baekhyun just looks at him, his mind completely blank. He can't even react. He feels like he's having an out of body experience.  
  
"There's a specific muscle that is connected with the eye's vision that if cut, can slow the heartbeat," The doctor begins to explain. He's helping Baekhyun stand up, bringing him down the hall and Baekhyun wants to run the opposite way because he knows where he's taking him but he can't bring himself to stop moving forward. "Kyungsoo went into cardiac arrest because his heartbeat slowed to an unnatural level. We tried to save him, but it was too late."  
  
The door to a room is opening and Kyungsoo's there, lying on top of the sheets, stock still. The patches are still over his eyes and he's still wearing the ugly foam green hospital gown and his hairs messed up and Baekhyun so desperately wishes he were just asleep. He approaches his body slowly. He can't do anything more then gingerly take Kyungsoo's wrist and flip it over, only to find unsuprisingly, his words are smudged. He flips it back over and turns back to the doctor. Without hesitation, he grabs the doctor's wrist, the man letting out a noise of surprise as Baekhyun pulls back the gauze wrapped around it only to find his Word's smudged. He can feel the doctor freeze, let out a little gasp of surprise. The Words are hardly legible, but Baekhyun knows they said " _Thank you so much, doctor._ "  
  
Baekhyun looks at the doctor's nametag. It reads "DR. KIM JUNMYEON".  
  
"I'm sorry, Junmyeon," Baekhyun mumbles, and the doctor just looks at him, shocked. He looks at Kyungsoo, then back at Baekhyun, then at his own wrist. Baekhyun doesn't want to stay in this room anymore. He thanks him and walks out, trying desperately not to collapse as he walks through the lobby and out the front doors.  
  
The sun is rising, the sky light as Baekhyun hails one of the cabs out front of the hospital. He slides into the leather seats, the smell of cigerette smoke overpowering as he gives the driver his address; then, after a second thought, tells him Chanyeol's instead.  
  
As they drive away, Baekhyun rests his forehead against the window, looking up at the slowly rising sun. The sky is a beautiful pink and orange, chasing away the darkness of the night, and all Baekhyun can think as he watches the stars disappear is  _Everything should be fine._

 

**Author's Note:**

> you can yell at me on twitter @johnyong_bot


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